dreams!

“Dreams are necessary to life.”  Anais Nin

But too many individual dreams are dangerous for other’s life.

aren’t they?

stolen!

rest in peace blacky III

thank you for serving me for this past 4 months

taking me to school.. no matter day, night, hot cold.

against the wind, the breeze, the snow…

gliding through maas tunnel with your faithful partners, the front light and the back light.

sorry for always leaving you outside. freeze, buried with snow, heated by the sun.

we also fell once.. and that accident bent your front wheel. I felt sorry for you

…

now that front wheel is the only one left from you.

you’ve forced to follow someone else.

I know you’re not happy. but be a good bike. continue serve the new master.

good luck with your new life. hope our path will cross again in the future.

sigh!

Oh boy… I can’t express in word how much I hate her… sigh.. hope won’t meet her again in the next term.

God forgive me. but I really sick of her.

hope!

A new dawn has break. A new hope has arise. A new war has begun.

Help me God. to overcome this war. to seize the hope. to win the war. a war against myself.

let’s show how passionate I am in this field. let’s prove how I thirst of knowledge

may God be with me.

Bismillah.

change!

Sometimes some people take it very easy to ask people to change. Ask the world to change. To condemn other people. To say that they were wrong. Government is bullshit. etc.

But people always forget, in order to change something, you need to change yourself first. You need to look at the man in the mirror, as Jackson said. And if everybody does this consciously. Things will get better.

neo!

Hey you, It’s me again. I would like to tell you a story. You know, I’m trapped now. Trapped in a complex system. My profession allowed me to do so. The system is so powerful, until you can experienced it in every daily life I do (did), but you hardly recognize it. I work for the system. I celebrate the triumph of the system. It’s hard to escape. But is it good to stay here? The system told me that architecture is only for middle class and upper class. Even my former education taught (indirectly) me so. Lower class doesn’t deserve it. It’s not true! at least, that’s my answer for it. But if I disobey the system, everything will go away. Money, pride, recognition, or even my status as an architect. We’re always part of the system. (They, who’s on the other side, said) Whatever we propose is to serve the system. Maybe it’s true.

And they will say “but you can change the system from inside”. But as far as my knowledge, no one succeeded. They were fallen and consumed by the system. To be honest, I’m happy with the system. When I was working for him, I can rent decent apartment, I can buy anything I like, I can travel, I can save money to continue my study. Everything seems perfect. But now I learn the truth (but what is truth? now we’re in era where it’s hardly recognize truth and lie) about the system. I didn’t say it’s wrong. I still haven’t fully understand it. but as far as I know it’s bad (well maybe just the people not the system, but not really, the root of the system also seems wrong to me).

Many people is excluded from the system. They’re too poor to celebrate the system. but they’re always pressed by the system, no benefit, just abused. Is it fair? (again) What is fair? from what perspective we see it? If I want to stand to fight the system. of course they will say: it’s their problem, they born poor, so what?; or you should be grateful you’re not one of them (and then? I am grateful, but just grateful and full stop); or (of course)  the rich is getting rich the poor is getting poor, that’s just the way the world work; or, hahahaha, you’re so naive, get alive man!; or, that’s so nice of you to think that way, but let’s go back to reality; or, the system it’s too strong, just lose your idealism. it’s worthless.

Now I’m still grey. but I don’t want to be grey forever. I have choose (should I?)! black or white? so what should I choose?

but hey.. let’s learn more about the system first. we still have time. good luck!

Annoyed!

F*ck you two! It’s a school. It’s not a popularity contest nor political space.

So if you want to fight and persuade people as your back up go somewhere else!

(sorry)

screamo!

why you have to scream to express yourself?

so that people will notice that you’re exist?

…

what a pity.

past!

Hey! wake up!

things might different now. but this is reality that you must face!

Things might rougher than before. things might not as easy as before. things might bitter than before.

but don’t lose before fight. don’t cry before bleed. don’t lose hope.

things might not as beautiful as the past. but remember, always try to crawl up from the past. it’s past. and it’ll remain past. you can’t always drowned with it. maybe your past is perfect. but it’s past. and it’ll remain past.

don’t be such a cry baby. life is hard. world is mean. don’t let it eats you!

fight for your life.

think!

only recently…

I realized that I always stop thinking after questioning… That’s horrible!

I always bluntly accept something after someone read me a story… That’s is not correct!

I always denying reality.. because I hate it!

…

maybe I should stop complaining and let’s make some progress..